Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Dr Fossey's cure for the common cold and other related winter ailments

The amount of information you can pick up on the internet for a trip like this is truly amazing, particular if hours of procrastination have honed you into a lethal Googling machine like me. As with anything, you need to exercise prudence and carefully weigh up competing data in order to determine the most appropriate course of action. For instance the Foreign Office's "We continue to advise against all but essential travel to Honduras due to the ongoing political crisis" and "(Re: Colombia) You should be aware that the long-standing policy of the British Government is not to make substantive concessions to hostage takers" is blatant xenophobic scaremongering and can be summarily dismissed, where as Nigel Soladu from Nigeria's business opportunity offering a 3000% return is clearly a must have, particularly as he has chosen me out of the literally hundreds of people who use the internet.

Medical advice is equally forthcoming, and while at times I have resembled a poorly shaved porcupine while receiving a myriad of expensive and questioningly necessitated injections, it is of course better to be safe than sorry. Especially when safety and cost are so neatly correlated. However, one thing we have all ascertained from the internet is a hitherto unexplored cure for the common cold and other related winter ailments. The practice is only in it's testing phase but they are now about to begin clinical trials on people, which many of you will be aware is the final level of testing before a medication can be released. The medication itself has one of those pseudo-latin type definitions which tends to take a particular scientist's name and add "anusanitis" on the end, but the more common name is "six and half months of summer". Phil, Tom and I have all been accepted onto the trial program and we can't stress enough for you to do the same. Here's a quick look at the prognosis.


I am not a real doctor. I'm more of a doctor in the sense that Dr Pepper is a doctor. Although my advice is clearly sound, we take no responsibility for anything, whatsoever.

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